The SHADE of living in 2 different cities…

Many of my close family and friends know the inside scoop on our process of moving from Winston to the Raleigh area.  Today I’m sharing the SHADE  we had to go through to make it work!

SUPPORT – Living in 2 separate cities so that we can fully transition to the Raleigh area was tough!  We agreed that it’s best to let Elle finish out the 3rd grade in her current school which meant we really needed to sacrifice and we needed an amazing support team.  The boys and I stayed with my in laws M-F then we went home to Winston on the weekends to be with JoColby and Elle.  I’m so blessed that my in laws have enough space that we were extremly comfortable during this process.  They boys have their own room and I stayed in Elle’s room.  We basically had the entire upstairs to ourselves.

HUNT– While we were making this sacrifice for our children we were always on the hunt.  Looking at different neighborhoods, trying to find the perfect schools.  We actually found our 3 favorite locations but it wasn’t until my husband brought in our amazing realator Chantel of Be Home Realty, I knew the hunt would be over soon.  We gave Chantel our budget and she was all over it.  When she sent us the listing to our current  home I instantly gave her the side eye because the pictures on Zillow made the home look so dark and gloomy.  Once I stepped into the house I knew THIS was our home! The process was seamless thanks to the work of Chantel and our amazing broker Phillip Harris of Blackhawk Mortgage!  We highly recommend them when you’re ready to make that move.

ACCOUNTABILITY– Living in seperate cities from your spouse and child/ children we had to hold each other accountable. We made sure we utilized FaceTime, weekends were for us to reconnect.  I will admit it was so hard to hand off the baton and leave Elle with her father.  Often times I wondered if it was worth it, will she be effected not having her mother M-F? Whenever I was in doubt I prayed.  I knew that these 7 months ( November- June) would fly by and boy did they.

DEVOTED – because this was such a major change in our family dynamics, we devoted one on one time with each other.  I made sure that I incorporated Mommy/ Daughter dates so that I could stay in tune with Elle and her thoughts throughout this process. We also worked on a journal together as well.  In addition to this I also made sure that  JoColby and I had a monthly date night. We wanted to make sure our foundation was strong especially since he just got back from deployment and BOOM our family is divided.

EXCITEMENT– through all of the sacrifices we remained excited about our future.  The thoughts of a new home, with more room so that we can invite our friends and family over, a place where our children will grow, the thoughts of our family being back in the same city again. We remained humble and excited during the entire process.  Most importantly we are THANKFUL.

Have you ever lived in a separate city from your spouse or child? What did you learn during the process? Until next time….



11 thoughts on “The SHADE of living in 2 different cities…

  1. Wow! Such amazing story/ journey Meka, so glad to hear the outcome was great & nothing less of what u was hoping & praying for. May God continue to bless y’all ( Luv u cuzn) give all the kids a hug & kiss for me 😍😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you soooo much Meka! I really needed to here this today. I am going through almost the same situation. Some of the SHADE sometimes does get to me . However we are both continuing to stay focused , do what’s best for our family, and achieve our goals. This was so uplifting! Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Message received. Whenever I get the chance to finally make my way to North Carolina I must come look for you in Raleigh, not Winston. I love Raleigh. I’ve never lived there, but from my frequent visits there I saw that it is a great city to live in. I wish you, Jocolby and the kids all the best in your new home. This was a really good read, by the way. I feel like I connected with you even though we haven’t seen or heard from each other in so long.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ive told you this in your office privately and I don’t have a problem with sharing this open my… Thanks for being a true husband and wife remodel of today’s time… You truly inspire me and thanks for being a light that sit on the hill… Love y’all

    Liked by 1 person

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